Chapter 36 Losing a Sister

"I am sorry for your loss Clover."

  "Thank ye Father Patrick," Clover replied thickly.  She felt like she should say something more but knew not what.  "Thank ye for giving my sister a funeral....and for bringing all the monks by today.  Surely it is a comfort to mama."

  Why did I say that?  I jest want them to all go away.  Now that I thanked him they will probably stay longer.

  "It is the least I can do for a widow and her daughter."

  Did he have to bring papa into this?  Have I not suffered enough?

  Dangerously close to tears Clover turned away.

  Clover walked inside, which the monks took as an invitation to follow.

  Clover just stood there.  She did not have it in her to play hostess today.  She could feel the eyes of the monks.  For a moment she closed her eyes.

  "Clover?"

  Slowly she turned to see which monk had addressed her.

  I do not want to do this.  I will turn back and pretend I did not hear. 

  Then softly so only she could hear, "I know what yer goin' through Clover."

  "No ye don't.  Have ye lost a sister?  Have ye?  One who is closer to ye than every person ye know?"  she asked, her anger bubbling over.  "And that is not the only person lost to me..."  Clover drifted off, a few tears escaping.

  "I did that too.  Being angry, sad...I jest wanted everyone to leave me be.  Pretty hard when you live with monks."

  "Are you?"  Clover faltered.

  "I am Brother Chip.  We haven't met...  Me brother Dale was promised to yer sister.  I haven't lost a sister...but Dale and I were close."

  Clover paled.  Dale Woods died while Clover and Goldilocks were still in girlhood.

  "Me pa still lives but me ma...she died when we were jest boys.  I still miss her."  Brother Chip's voice cracked.

  Clover's heart went out to this gentle voiced Brother.

  "Me pa died when I was a girl too..."

  "I jest wanted ye to know ye aren't alone in this.  I felt so alone...even among the monks."

  "Thank ye Brother."

  Clover was surprised this did make her feel better.  And then mama played a different song on the fiddle.  Clover's face crumpled.

  "Please, tell me Clover.  I am here for ye."

  "It's...this song.  It was Goldilocks favorite when we were little girls.  Mama would play it and papa would sing it to us."

  "Please, sing it for me."

  "Oh no, I can't.  Not in front of all these people."

  "Sing it soft so only I can hear."

  Clover felt a warm feeling in her heart.  It rose to her cheeks, no doubt coloring them.  Very softly she sang:

    If you go down to the woods today
    You're sure of a big surprise.
    If you go down to the woods today
    You'd better go in disguise.

    For ev'ry bear that ever there was
    Will gather there for certain, because
    Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

    Ev'ry teddy bear who's been good
    Is sure of a treat today.
   There's lots of marvelous things to eat
    And wonderful games to play.

    Beneath the trees where nobody sees
    They'll hide and seek as long as they please
    Cause that's the way the teddy bears have their picnic.

    If you go down to the woods today
    You'd better not go alone.
    It's lovely down in the woods today
    But safer to stay at home.

    For ev'ry bear that ever there was
    Will gather there for certain, because
    Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

    Picnic time for teddy bears 
    The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today
    Watch them, catch them unawares
    And see them picnic on their holiday.

    See them gaily gad about
    They love to play and shout;
    They never have any care;

    At six o'clock their mummies and daddies,
    Will take them home to bed,
    Because they're tired little teddy bears.

  Brother Chip's eyes sparkled and his lips twitched.  Clover gave him a little smile.  That was all it took.  When he stopped for just a moment Clover stood there.

  "It does seem funny now.  We jest loved it when we were wee lasses.  Papa sang it all scary to keep us from wandering off into the woods.  It doesn't seem such a scary song now, does it?"

  "No, it doesn't,"  Brother Chip said softly.  "Some day ye will sing it to your wee ones."

  The warm feeling came back.

  I wonder if my betrothed will be as sweet as Brother Chip.  And if he is half as cute...but with raven hair.  I hope William Malone is a raven haired man.

  It was then that Father Patrick gathered the monks to leave for the monastery.  It seemed too soon.

  Mama came over and gave her a bear hug, just like papa used to give.

  "The sun is a setting.  It has been a long day.  Go on to bed now."

  "Yes mama."

  Clover walked up the cottage stairs, still thinking of Brother Chip.

  To think, he was almost me brother in law, almost...

  Clover flushed, happy for the warm feeling.